So, I like lists…
. Grocery lists…
. Bucket lists…
. “Things To Do Lists” …
They are clean and easy to understand “game plans” to get stuff done.
Since marriage, while being incredibly rewarding, can be “a complex fog of missteps and landmines”… we offer the following list of “fairly undeniable truths of marriage”. Some guardrails, from the sarcastic #20, to the serious #14.
This list isn’t exhaustive, nor is it explained…see what you think…
- You married a sinner, so did your spouse (Rom 3:23)
- A Christian plus a Christian does NOT necesarily make a “Christian Marriage”. Two people can love Jesus and not know how to make a marriage work.
- No one gets married to be frustrated, ignored or marginalized…we allow it to happen through neglect, selfishness and ultimately sin.
- Marriage takes some effort, insight and skill…doesn’t hurt to have love either. Just don’t count on it to save the day. (with apologies to every fairy tale ever written)
- Being “in love” lasts about 18 months, then you better have a plan.
- Divorce is still a tragic, painful, devastating culmination of a lot of little events. (usually). Just because it is common does not mean it isn’t painful.
- A divorced person deserves our arms (for hugs/comfort) not our fingers (for pointing/judgement)”
- Every verse in Scripture is a “marriage verse”. Not just (Gen 2:18, 1 Peter 3:1-7, Ephesians 5:22-33, 1 Cor 13 etc…) bc all of the Bible is for you.
- Marriage is hard because we are bigger sinners than we think we are, more selfish than we admit and we aren’t naturally very good at marriage.
- You are the key to a great marriage not your spouse.
- Men want respect, women want love…primarily.
- Most marriage problems are Gospel problems. Either we forgot to extend the same grace, forgiveness and mercy we received from Jesus to our spouse or we never knew it in the first place.
- The world has stolen, twisted and misused sex! God made sex with our spouse for our pleasure, connection, comfort, self-esteem and for “makin dem babies!”
- You CANNOT change the past…that is either a statement of FREEDOM, or a CHAIN around your neck…. your choice.
- You create the person you are married to.
- Marriage is designed to be a testimony of God’s love for us. (Eph 5)
- Men and women have the same emotions.…they just come out differently.
- In a tough marriage season, you do not need to get a new spouse, you need to get your spouse a new you.
- You married another human being. They have dreams, goals, ambitions and baggage that you cannot even being to understand until you have to live each day “with them in an understanding way”. (1 Peter 3)
- Nicholas Sparks is a liar! 🙂
Hope this is helpful!
Margie and Hixon
October 17, 2016 at 8:15 am
Hixon, Thank you for this blog on marriage. My wife and I are experiencing a rough patch in our marriage. These points were convicting and thought provoking as I found myself doing a self evaluation of my own part in my marriage with Stefanie. I am very thankful for you! Blessings,Lance Wendling
October 17, 2016 at 9:45 am
Never heard back from you
On Monday, October 17, 2016, I N T E N T I O N A L Marriage wrote:
> Hixon and Margie Frank posted: “So, I like lists… Grocery lists… > Bucket lists… “Things To Do Lists” … They are clean and easy to > understand “game plans” to get stuff done. Since marriage, while being > incredibly rewarding, can be “a complex fog of missteps and > landmines”…we” >
Hixon and Margie Frank
October 17, 2016 at 1:33 pm
Tried replying… We hope to have it in book form inside of the next year. Until then we are sending out outlines of some of the key information each week as we teach through it. “I DO NOW WHAT?” (week #1) ….(week #2) etc… is posted to his blog. Hope that helps