12 May

This next principle is easy to teach and difficult to actually doThe truth is that most of us stop “pursuing our wives” right after the first really big fight or when we discover that she has her “own” opinions. We tend to think that since we married her there is no need to pursue her…after all you don’t pursue something that you already caught…right?  Then when we allow work, raising a family, paying bills and busy schedules rob us of any

extra time and energy, we easily forget that our wives need to feel like we would choose them over, and over ,

and over again….. nothing wrong with that. (we are the same way…it just looks different)


7. PURSUE HER. Every woman wants to be pursued. Every woman wants to be “won”!  When we were dating, (or newly weds) and men were trying to act like women (talk, be romantic, share details, listen) and women are trying to act like men, both parties were doing their best to “win the other one”.  Here is how we did it:

  • We were considerate – We got her door, we put the phone away, we did not watch TV and grunt when she spoke, we checked her car for safety, we made sure she got home, we followed her into the next room when she was upset…
  • We were self-sacrificing – we were willing to give up what we wanted for what she wanted. Everything from where you ate together to what movie you saw was determined by HER desires and not your own.
  • We were protective – we made sure she arrived to her destination, glared at other guys for even looking at her, gave her the helmet while we rode without one, held her close when going through a tough part of town etc…
  • We were thoughtful – we left notes, text messages, dropped by, phoned home, picked up our underwear, wiped the seat etc..

QUESTIONS: I Peter 3:7  Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. 

  1. When was the last time you stopped and tried to figure out something that would win her heart? (when you were NOT already in trouble!)
  2. What would happen if you started to try and “win your wife’s heart” again?
  3. How would she respond? 
  4. What would you have to change in order to “pursue her” like you did before you “caught her”? 

SADLY, Our culture guarantees that someone else is pursuing your wife. In other words, there is another man she knows who would love to be in your shoes and he is probably working on it right now. It is the world we live in.  (Song of Solomon)

Don’t stop PURSUING HER just because you married her!  


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