TRY THIS: BE FAITHFUL TO HER!!! Before you dismiss this as WAY TO OBVIOUS, you need to know that being faithful is more than you might think. I’m sure there are dozens of ways to “BE FAITHFUL” to our wives but try the following 7 principles…
- NEVER BE ALONE WITH A WOMAN WHO IS NOT YOUR WIFE, CHILD OR RELATIVE. I “get” that we all have times (assignments, training, surprise visits etc…) that it is impossible to avoid being alone with another woman but try this… leave the door open, get someone to ride with you, invite someone else to join you for lunch, etc… Psalm 44:20-21 If we had forgotten the name of our God or spread out our hands to a foreign god, would not God have discovered it, since he knows the secrets of the heart?
- NEVER COMPARE HER UNFAVORABLY TO ANY OTHER WOMAN..ever! (Prov 19:4) I don’t care if she says how pretty someone else is…never, never, NEVER agree with her! Why would you? (You say “Hixon, we have a mature and honest relationship, that can handle me finding someone else attractive”. To that I say “Really? I’m not questioning the maturity of your relationship, just the WISDOM of sharing everything that “pops” into you head”. Proverbs 17:28 Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues. Do you share EVERYTHING you think with your spouse?
- SPEAK WELL OF HER TO OTHER WOMEN I have been in ministry for about 23 years. Very very rarely have I known a man who was unfaithful to his wife that was either not “looking to be” or not “incredibly reckless”. Just like the drug addict easily finds a dealer, someone bent on unfaithfulness will find many who are willing to fulfill that role. Scripture says “Deep Calls to Deep” (Psalm 42:7). It is pretty easy to tell the guys who are “open” to being unfaithful and the guys who are not. This is one way to tell the world you are NOT “OPEN”.
- BE AFFECTIONATE TO HER BOTH PRIVATELY AND IN PUBLIC not saying to start “making out” in front of other people but I am saying to send signals to anyone who cares to see that you are “WITH HER”!
- DEFEND HER TO YOUR BUDDIES (better yet, get new buddies who don’t critique your wife). I know this is not Junior High but this happens all the time. You can never “give permission” (by agreeing or failing to defend) to anyone to be disrespectful to your wife. It is wrong and she WILL find out!
- DEFEND HER TO YOUR FAMILY (and hers). Families are funny things. They can be a source of great strength and/or a source of great destruction. As the man in the home you cannot allow your family (mom, dad, siblings) to tear down your wife. It does not matter if you agree with their assessment or not.
- SLEEP WITH HER. Seriously. A sexless marriage places two people in a very precarious position. One of need, desire and vulnerability. 1 Corinthians 7:5 Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again sothat Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. You’re welcome!
In keeping these 7 Principles (and dozens more) you are helping your wife grow under the safety you provide. You are investing in the single most important human relationship you have….and it will pay HUGE dividends.