THE “TOP 15” Qualities of a “Wingman”…well……18 qualities :)

17 Sep

Our group of men who meet on Wednesday night has ballooned to a couple hundred men. The guys are a pretty eclectic mix….

  • some deeply love Jesus and want to grow in their faith
  • some grew up going to church “every time the doors were open” so church is “what they do”
  • some are “good ol boy” Christians who “know Jesus” through theologians  like Kenny Chesney and Garth Brooks
  • some are guys who walked away from their faith in college and are finding marriage and kids to be a bigger challenge than they thought
  • and some guys show up because their lives have fallen apart and have no where else to go.

Whatever has brought them I have grown to absolutely love these guys…….This is what we try to challenge these men (myself included) to become…

1. PRIEST – a husband/father takes responsibility for his own growing faith as well as his wife and children’s growth. He is (as Mark Driscol says) PASTOR DAD. He leads his family in this area by example and words.

2. KING – he takes responsibility for making decisions in his home. Not in a dictatorial fashion but he knows that the direction of his family is primarily guided by a lot of small decisions.

3. WARRIOR – he takes responsibility for protecting his home…fighting for his family (not with them). This has to be balanced by allowing the Holy Spirit to convict, discipline and redeem the members of his family while he steps out-of-the-way. (that is for another post)

4. PROTECTOR – he places a “hedge of protection” around his family. He has difficult conversations with those who may harm his family emotionally or attempt to control/manipulate for their own gain. He understands that he is the only one who really has his families best interests in mind 24/7. He says “NO” to some things.

5. SERVANT – he is a servant leader to his family. If someone in the family is to sacrifice it will be him…he does not count getting a job and keeping it as sacrifice… but his willing duty and privilege.

6. LOVER – he loves his wife practically (take trash out), emotionally (connect with her feelings), verbally (talk man!), physically (boldly pursue her like you did when you were first married, or even before you got married)

7. SHEPHERD – he is involved enough to know his wife well and he “shepherds” her heart. Helping her blossom as a woman and sister-in-Christ and not condemning her for being a woman.

8. VISIONARY – he knows where he and his family are going (need to go) and makes plans to get them there. This is spiritual, emotional physical (any area where growth is required)

9. DISCIPLINED – he is not a slave to his lusts … whether that be food, sleep, anger, porn etc…..

10. COMMITTED/FAITHFUL – he takes responsibility for the marriage covenant and sets his wife apart as uniquely above every other woman on the planet! He puts her on the proverbial “pedistal”.he has no close friends who are women. He does not find himself alone with any other woman…ever. He does not give rides or make overtures that imply he is anything less than 100% committed to his wife.

11. GENTLE – he understands that he married a woman! She is not a “hunting, drinking or dirty joke buddy”. She is the “weaker (physically) vessel and to be treated like a chalice and not a thermos.

12. RESPONSIBLE – he gets a job and keeps it! He pays the bills and keeps the cars running etc…

13. ACCOUNTABLE – he has people in his life that know where he is and what he is doing 24/7. He “gets” that even the best man who is unaccountable is in a dangerous place.

14. HUMBLE – he knows that without Jesus he is nothing…and with Him he is still nothing except what Jesus has redeemed him. “One beggar showing other beggars where to get food”

15. PEACEFUL – he knows that he can bring peace or chaos to his home….he brings peace. Emotional peace, intellectual peace, verbal peace.

16. PATIENT – he knows that he must “wait on God” when leading his family. He is in control but not controlling.

17. KIND – he knows that his kids and wife will follow his lead so he is kind to his wife, kids and total strangers. He does not, however, mistake kindness for weakness.

18. RIGHTEOUS – he knows that “generational sin” will infect his family unless he pursues and destroys it. So he makes sure he is “right with God”


2 responses to “THE “TOP 15” Qualities of a “Wingman”…well……18 qualities :)

  1. Todd Hope

    September 17, 2010 at 2:40 pm

    Sometimes, to the rest of the world and to ourselves initially, we may appear boring in disciplining ourselves is such ways as these 18 principles. That’s when we are winning the race. People shooting benchrest rifle competitions will tell you that to be the very best as this sport your actions have got to become almost boring to achieve bullseye accuracy.

  2. Justin McGillis

    September 20, 2010 at 9:53 pm

    Thanks hixon, that is really good.


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