MY POINT: If we can get our teens to “make friends with loneliness” instead of fear it, they will be much more able to resist the pressure to “conform” to the image of their schoolmates and more likely to conform to the image of our Lord. (Romans 8:29, 12:2)

SO HOW? Here are a few ideas…

1. Understand that loneliness is PART OF THE CHRISTIAN FAITH. I know many folks that feel slighted by God because they have listened to some  ”knuckle-headed, health/wealth” preacher who promised that God is here for our comfort. So if we are “uncomfortable” (lonely) then we must not be in God’s will…right?   Nothing could be further from the truth. (2 Timothy 4:9-10, Phil.3:8)
2. Help them EXPECT IT! When we are in Junior High and sit with the kid who “no one” sits with, or we are in High School and say “NO”  to what “everyone is doing” we will alienate a certain group of people. Doing the right thing always “ruffles feathers”.  (By the way, the attacks don’t always come from the “mean kids”.  If you do not follow the crowd you will very likely experience times when you are lonely. 
3. Know that GOD OFTEN WORKS MOST FREELY in our lives when we are lonely! He has our attention when we are hurting. He will also change our need for others into a desire for Himself. When we realize the reality of an all-sufficient God and the closeness we can have with Him, loneliness looses its TEETH.
4. GIVE EM A PLACE TO “COME HOME TO” where they are not alone. I mean make your home a place where they can be WITH you. If you are like us things are “crazy busy”. Especially when our kids hit the teenage years we were all going in different directions! I am haunted by my son’s words after what was a rare dinner all together…”I really like it when we are all together”. Later when I tucked him in I asked him about it. He said…” yea, I just don’t feel as alone when we are all together”.  OUCH!!
5. NEVER ENCOURAGE YOUR KIDS TO BE “PLEAS-ERS”.   Help them be obedient to authority in their lives, help them be respectful of adults and even help them avoid a “rebellious heart” …..  but NEVER ask your kids to capitulate, even a little, to other kids just to be accepted. (We all tend to lean that way anyway.) Once we get accepted for the wrong reasons then it is like “CRACK”.  It eventually robs us of our ability to  stand for anything.

With some sadness I reminded him that there will also be a never ending parade of arm-chair quarterbacks who would not dare step forward and make the same effort he will make but feel completely justified “tearing him down” when he does not do what they determine he should.

He smiled and referenced the “Man in the Arena”.

“The what?”  I asked.

“The Man in the Arena”, he said. “Essentially it is the guy doing the work that counts and not the critics”

On the way home I Googled “The Man In The Arena” and came up with the following excerpt from the speech “Citizenship In A Republic”, delivered at the Sorbonne, in Paris, France on 23 April, 1910 -by Theodore Roosevelt.    download PDF

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

I read the entire speech (some 20 pages long). For you history buffs it is very cool. But even if you can’t stand looking back further than last week you will still enjoy what Roosevelt said.  I though about it a lot and started to see it all around me (and in me)  

Actual quotes….this week

“That ref is horrible” … spoken from a fan some 65 yards away from the play in question.

“The coach is an idiot”... this from a person who got as far as Pee Wee football so he clearly knows how a D1 College Coach should lead his team.

Our President is incompetent” – from someone who’s entire political education comes from Fox News, Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity. (I’m a fan too…but maybe need a little balance ya think?) 

“The administrators at (college) are stupid”... of course the alums know everything that is going into the decision in dispute.

“Our (player) is a choker” … yea, he is paid millions of dollars a year because he is no good.

We criticize from our ignorance….

How bout this: ….unless you have been “The player”, The Coach, The Candidate, The Ref, The Boss, The Pastor, The “whatever”  …then give them the benefit of the doubt before you decide “they” are complete “knuckleheads”.

REMEMBER: Someday YOU WILL BE THE “MAN IN THE ARENA” 

but only of you are willing to “DARE GREATLY”

]]> http://hixonfrank.com/2011/10/02/the-man-in-the-arena/feed/ 2 hixonfranka article-2006161-00292C7D00000258-264_468x309 http://hixonfrank.com/2011/06/01/religion-vs-the-gospel/ http://hixonfrank.com/2011/06/01/religion-vs-the-gospel/#comments Wed, 01 Jun 2011 10:39:50 +0000 Hixon Frank http://hixonfrank.com/?p=1611 ]]>  The Following is from Tim Keller

RELIGION: I obey-therefore I’m accepted.
THE GOSPEL: I’m accepted-therefore I obey.

RELIGION: Motivation is based on fear and insecurity.
THE GOSPEL: Motivation is based on grateful joy.

RELIGION: I obey God in order to get things from God.
THE GOSPEL: I obey God to get to God-to delight and resemble Him.

RELIGION: When circumstances in my life go wrong, I am angry at God or my self, since I believe, like Job’s friends that anyone who is good deserves a comfortable life.
THE GOSPEL: When circumstances in my life go wrong, I struggle but I know all my punishment fell on Jesus and that while he may allow this for my training, he will exercise his Fatherly love within my trial.

RELIGION: When I am criticized I am furious or devastated because it is critical that I think of myself as a ‘good person’. Threats to that self-image must be destroyed at all costs.
THE GOSPEL: When I am criticized I struggle, but it is not critical for me to think of myself as a ‘good person.’ My identity is not built on my record or my performance but on God’s love for me in Christ. I can take criticism.

RELIGION: My prayer life consists largely of petition and it only heats up when I am in a time of need. My main purpose in prayer is control of the environment.
THE GOSPEL: My prayer life consists of generous stretches of praise and adoration. My main purpose is fellowship with Him.

RELIGION: My self-view swings between two poles. If and when I am living up to my standards, I feel confident, but then I am prone to be proud and unsympathetic to failing people. If and when I am not living up to standards, I feel insecure and inadequate. I’m not confident. I feel like a failure.
THE GOSPEL: My self-view is not based on a view of my self as a moral achiever. In Christ I am “simul iustus et peccator”—simultaneously sinful and yet accepted in Christ. I am so bad he had to die for me and I am so loved he was glad to die for me. This leads me to deeper and deeper humility and confidence at the same time. Neither swaggering nor sniveling.

RELIGION: My identity and self-worth are based mainly on how hard I work. Or how moral I am, and so I must look down on those I perceive as lazy or immoral. I disdain and feel superior to ‘the other.’
THE GOSPEL: My identity and self-worth are centered on the one who died for His enemies, who was excluded from the city for me. I am saved by sheer grace. So I can’t look down on those who believe or practice something different from me. Only by grace I am what I am. I’ve no inner need to win arguments.

RELIGION: Since I look to my own pedigree or performance for my spiritual acceptability, my heart manufactures idols. It may be my talents, my moral record, my personal discipline, my social status, etc. I absolutely have to have them so they serve as my main hope, meaning, happiness, security, and significance, whatever I may say I believe about God.
THE GOSPEL: I have many good things in my life—family, work, spiritual disciplines, etc. But none of these good things are ultimate things to me. None of them are things I absolutely have to have, so there is a limit to how much anxiety, bitterness, and despondency they can inflict on me when they are threatened and lost.

- Tim Keller

Dear Church family,

I am very excited about what God is doing here at First Baptist church. The growth, outreach, camaraderie and excellence of this church is a minister’s dream.

BUT today is the culmination of about 9 weeks of resistance, prayer, and finally willingness to embrace what God seems to have for me and my family.  I have accepted God’s call to go to Prestonwood Baptist Church in Plano, Texas and serve on her staff.   My last Sunday as Minister of Education and Discipleship here at First Baptist will be June 19, 2011

We make this decision with GREAT EXCITEMENT but a heavy heart.

I cannot thank everyone this morning but I want to thank THREE GROUPS OF FOLKS:

• Staff Leadership
• Dr Jeffress for taking a chance on me almost 9 years ago (personnel committee for agreeing to it) and asking me to be the Minister of Young Adults. Allowing me to come back to Wichita Falls and serve in my home church.

• Pastor Bob (Dr. Bob McCartney) – for hiring me to be the Minister of Education and Discipleship shortly after he arrived here.

• His Passion and Vision are infectious and we soon adopted them as our own
• His steady leadership and excellence in the pulpit has blessed my family and this church.
• He has become not just my pastor but my friend.
• I trust him and respect him more than you will know
• He (and MaryAnne) has blessed Margie, me, and my kids by being a man we respect and admire not just in the pulpit but at the dinner table.
• I want to say publicly: “Thank you for allowing me to serve here on your team”.

• Jerry Royal – It is no secret that Jerry is one of my closest friends in ministry.

• Jerry is a gifted leader and teacher
• He has been a ministerial peer, and then boss and has handled that transition with integrity, sensitivity and wisdom.
• We have walked together through the ups and downs of ministry.
• He has been willing to “pick me up” when needed and “push back” when necessary
• I have grown more and “walked better with God” because of his friendship.
• WE have grown more b/c of Jerry and Mary’s friendship.

• The STAFF I have gotten to serve with:

• They have been tested by the fires of ministry and been found faithful, deeply spiritual and competent.
• They are fiercely loyal, incredibly competent.
• They work hard and expect little in return.
• They rallied around me and Margie when I assumed leadership of the Ed Staff
• There are no self-absorbed egos.
• I am honored to have served alongside them

• THE CHURCH BODY (this is my home) 

• When I was 13 years old (1980) I gave my life to Jesus Christ in what is now the East Sanctuary of this church
• Asked Margie to marry me on the platform (East Sanctuary) and Dr. Chapman married us 11 months later here at FBC
• Some of you even took care of Margie when she was a child.
• I baptized my son here in this church
• My kids have deepened their faith here
• Not a Sunday goes by where someone does not come up to me and thanks me for something I may or may not have had anything to do with.
• You have blessed my kids
• You have blessed my wife
• You have accepted me as one of your own
• You have APPLAUDED MY STRENGTHS AND COVERED MY WEAKNESSES 
• You have made it easy to serve here.

Our Pastor, Staff and Body have shaped our lives for almost 9 years. (IN many ways for 31 years).

There are exciting days ahead for First Baptist Church!

PLEASE PRAY for us during this transition as you can be sure that we are praying for you.

Thank you.

Hixon and Margie Frank, Sydney, Sarah-Clare and Grayson

This is a repost from a couple of months ago. I believe this subject is HUGE so I hit is a lot on this blog….. enjoy.  

Most of us remember the movie City Slickers. It is a great movie about some restless middle age guys from the city who find themselves on a cattle drive in the great Southwest.

The defining moment in the movie plays out between Curly (the old cowboy/sage) and Mitch (the lovable bumbling “city slicker”) After Mitch complains about his marriage and life in general, Curly asks the question…

Curly: Do you know what the secret of life is? [holds up one finger] This.

Mitch: Your finger?

Curly: One thing. Just one thing. You stick to that and the rest don’t mean anything* (edit).

Mitch: But, what is the “one thing?”

Curly: [smiles] That’s what *you* have to find out.

When it comes to marriage I think that I have found the one thing that will get your further down the road than just about anything. At the risk of sounding like a simpleton…here…I believe…it is that “ONE THING”: Drumroll please……. (wait for it…..)

A HUSBAND SHOULD “SET HIS WIFE APART”! HUH? That’s it? Yep…THAT’S IT! I am convinced that the key to a good marriage starts with the HUSBAND SETTING HIS WIFE APART as UNIQUE AMONG EVERY OTHER WOMAN ON THE PLANET! Practical ways to “set her apart”…

1. “Be NICER, more patient, and more thoughtful of towards your wife than you are to your secretary!” Don’ t laugh…I have watched men shower their secretary with praise and their wives with critique. It is ridiculous but common.
2. Never compare your wife UNFAVORABLY to anyone else….EVER!  Even if she says she “doesn’t mind” or she insists it is “ok”. By the way, every time you say that another woman is pretty, sexy or hot…(even in jest) you are “killing” your wife.
3. Never speak a harsh word TO your wife in public…ever! It destroys trust, security and will build resentment towards you. You become the enemy.
4. No one else is your wife……. so don’t treat anyone with the same deference or emotional closeness that you give your wife. She should be the one you talk to. She does not understand you… make her understand.
5. Study your wife...what are the things that are important to her? What are her dreams? Do you know?

• We LOVE THEM
• WE LOVE EACH OTHER
• THEY HAVE A SAFE PLACE AT HOME
• WE LOVE JESUS
• WE EXPECT THEM TO WORK HARD
• WE RESPECT AUTHORITY
• WE LOOK FOR THE ONE WHO IS “LEFT OUT” AND INCLUDE THEM
• WE PROTECT EACH OTHER, EMOTIONALLY, PHYSICALLY and SPIRITUALLY
• ETC…

1. YOUR NAME IS IMPORTANT. My Kids represent two things. They represent our family. And they represent Jesus. (Each has embraced Him as their Lord and Master). 1 Timothy 3:7 He must also have a good reputation with outsiders, so that he will not fall into disgrace and into the devil’s trap. “Remember who you are!
2. SIN FLOURISHES IN DARKNESS, BUT WITHERS IN THE LIGHT. Secrecy, unaccounted for time, no accountability….these things will eventually destroy your life. The reality is that we cannot withstand the constant pressures to be unfaithful, immoral, lazy, deceitful etc…if we live a life in secret. Practical stuff: share your passwords with your spouse (facebook, ATM, accounts of any kind). Don’t travel alone. Make sure someone knows where you are at all times (they don’t have to be with you to know where you are) Be sensitive to “white lies”, don’t dismiss your spouse’s questions. (Psalm 90:8) Psalm 90:8
   You have set our iniquities before you, our secret sins in the light of your presence.
3. IT’S MARRIAGE……….THEN SEX. This is “NOT ME FINGER POINTING”! I am aware that bring this up will “tick off” about 50% of the folks who read this blog. But I have been amazed at the number of folks who think nothing of living together before they are married. While I am no prude, it is patently obvious that when people share a bed they share a whole lot more than the TV remote. There is physical, emotional and spiritual bonding that is irrevocable. Scripture tells us (and experience validates) that sex is intended to “glue” people together for life. There is nothing else more intimate that two people can do. THAT is why in a fully committed relationship in the bonds of marriage SEX IS AWESOME and SAFE. Outside of that SEX IS INCREDIBLY DESTRUCTIVE! (I matters little how much you have seared you conscious or hardened your heart, sex outside of marriage will destroy your soul.) As my kids grow up in a world that scream “Have SEX”….I will join in with the world and say the same thing….Just do it with in the confines of marriage so that you will be “bound” to your spouse.

We love to tear people down…really. (Well, maybe not you and me … but “they” love to do it!) From the new kid in Junior High to the celebrity that got a little too popular. (Beiber Fever anyone? Why would anyone hate this kid?)  There is a tendency for us to criticize anyone who seems to be further along than we are.  It is just usually how it is.

For “the believer” it can be particularly difficult because most of the critique comes from within the walls of the church. The Pastor might bow to his critics, the believer might temper his enthusiasm for his new faith, the evangelist who is chastised for his boldness might mute his efforts to avoid CRITICISM. And it is no wonder…CRITICISM HURTS!  BUT it can be devastating if we don’t have a way to handle it.

So here are three things to remember WHEN THE CRITICS COME:

1. KNOW WHO YOU ARE – If you don’t know…then you will let other people (typically your critics) define you. I would ask you to consider who Scripture says you are. You are “Chosen” –  Eph 1:4-5, “purchased” 1 Cor 6:20, “Loved” John 3:16, “Redeemed” Matt 1:21, etc…. it is all in there! THAT is who you are.

2. KNOW WHOSE YOU ARE – Know what team you are on, what colors you wear, who you play for…etc! If you claim Christ then live accordingly. John 10:27 ²⁷ My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.

3. KNOW WHO ”THEY” ARE - We all have people in our lives who are just “critical”. These folks are often angry, have few friends and seem to struggle with accurately representing the truth. Just understand that they too are in process and need us to extend GRACE to them…even if they don’t extend it to us.

West Texas, like a lot of places, is full of quaint small towns that have become little “time-warps”. From the “Enjoy Coke” signs on the lone cafe’ in town to the small church set way off the main road, entering these towns is like stepping back in time 40-50 years! Margie and I have spent a lot of time in towns like this primarily looking for antiques.  I remember on one short stop in Memphis, Texas I found an old Zenith Radio. (love old electronics). It was made in 1938 and was priced fairly.

As I considered the radio, I noticed a display in the next booth. It was a series of well dressed,  piles of ….er……well….. “poop”.  All were dressed as different historical figures. First was an Abe Lincoln “poop” - complete with beard and top hat. Next was the George Washington “poop” - (I think they came as a pair). Marilyn Monroe “poop”,  Laurel and Hardy “poop” and, if I remember correctly, there was a Princess Di “poop” (next to a miniature black Mercedes-Benz with severe damage, not funny.)

The point: Even dressed as famous people the little brown piles were still POOP! Well-dressed, stinky, nasty, dirty…. POOP!

Some Things to Consider….

• GOSSIP dressed up as prayer requests and shared with concern…is still GOSSIP (2 Cor. 12:20)
• WORRY that looks like Godly piety… is still WORRY (Luke 12:22)
• LUST kept secret….. is still LUST (Matt 5:28, Col.3:5)
• ARROGANCE wrapped in “leadership principles” …is still ARROGANCE (Mark 7:22)
• SELFISH AMBITION hidden in selfish networking… is still SELFISH AMBITION (Gal. 5:20)
• SLANDERING an “acceptable enemy”… is still SLANDER (Rom. 1:30)
• BITTERNESS…..well…. you get the idea

We all have a way of trying to make our sin look better than it really is…we dress it up in spiritual language, compensate ourselves that our motives are pure or hide behind “plausible deniability” but the reality remains…….. OUR SIN IS STILL SIN.  Nasty, dirty, stinky….. SIN!  (Romans 6:6)

1. Sin must be dealt with honestly before the Lord.
2. There is no freedom in simply disguising our sin.
3. We will find neither joy nor strength in our faith if we refuse to deal with the “sin that so easily entangles us” (Hebrews 12:1)

excerpt from The Bible Study Series, “Things They Did Not Tell Me About My Faith” – Hixon Frank 2007

I had a long talk with a man who had walked away from his faith but wanted to come back. He told me that he grew up as a believer, interned at his church and even felt called to ministry. But now he was very ashamed of the life he was living…. he and his girlfriend are living together (yes it is wrong), he struggles with substance abuse, he is “tatted up”, pierced everywhere and has trouble keeping a job. He is full of self-doubt, unbelief, and addictions. He was at the “end of his rope” and he wanted to “GET RIGHT with GOD”.

His story is like many who start their faith well and then, for whatever reason (I have some ideas) they just fall away…. some, like my new friend, embrace everything that is the antithesis of what they once stood for.

So, I walked him through the following simple steps found in Revelations 2:4-5  Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love. Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first.

1. REMEMBER. Can you remember what it was like when you desperately loved Jesus? Maybe it was when you first came to faith. Maybe when a child was born or you saw God do something miraculous. It might have been when you were a teenager….. whenever it was…… REMEMBER!

2. REPENT. literally “change your thinking” about the “sin that so easily entangles you”. Agree with God that some of what you are doing, thinking and even planning is SIN. Anger, jealousy, hatred, malice, gossip, fornication, lust envy etc….. turn from it and embrace God….then KEEP TURNING FROM IT.

3. DO THE THINGS YOU USED TO DO. Pray, seek, believe, trust… you used to do all of those things……. do them again.

By the way…this simple process works when restoring any relationship. If you are in a marriage that is “on the Rocks”. Remember what it was like early on in the relationship, repent of the “junk” that has infected the two of you, then do the things you used to do when you relationship was new.

Everyone on the planet is writing books about Leadership!

While most of us aspire to be leaders (and probably will lead others)  the fact is that the vast majority of our lives will be spent following someone else’s cause, direction or mandate. (Even when we have made it our own).

Ok, Here is the point: Most of us are terrible followers. We bristle when told we must do something that we don’t want to do…..And for the Christian, their faith will mean nothing to a lost and dying world if they cannot follow well. 

A Few Problems with Following:

1. WE ARE AMERICANS!  Nobody tells us what to do! Our whole country was established based on the principle: Don’ t tell me what I can or cannot do!”
2. LITTLE LAWYERS rise up inside of us whenever we are told we have to do something (Parent, boss, cop, organizational leader etc…) We question their authority, their direction and even their lineage!
3. ABUSIVE LEADERS ABOUND! We have all had to submit to the authority of someone who abused their authority either by decree or neglect.
4. WE HAVE REBELLIOUS HEARTS. (Jeremiah 17:9)

CONSIDER:

1. God expects you to follow an unbelieving, unfair, mean….. boss, teacher, cop, parent, president, chairman and “grand poobah”! For it is God who established the authority in your life. (1 Peter 2)
2. Authority in your life represents ORDER and not VALUE. In other words, someone’s authority has nothing to do with their value. (Contratary to Secular Humanism, scripture actually encourage followers of Christ to become less and less in their submission to both Christ and “every authority instituted among men” (John 3:30/1 Peter 2:13)
3. Following a boss well gives you a unique platform to share what is really important, faith in Jesus Christ? You stand out “like a sore thumb”! How can you ever be a “light in a dark world” if your own bosses (and others) question your integrity or work ethic or loyalty?
4. If we are unable to follow the authority that we can see, how can we follow the authority we cannot see? (John 4:20, interp)
5. God uses an unfair authority figure to make us better….. (James 1:3)
6. Scripture says rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft…. in other words not good at all.  (1 Sam 15:23)

While we are all busy learning how to be better leaders…we may want to pay a little more attention to following whomever God has placed in authority over us.